Harry Poofter and the Cursed Womb
by Harry Poofter
Summary: Life in the Harry Poofter mansion takes a turn for the worst when there's a baby on it's way. Will Harry and the gang be able to save the child or will they lose themselves along the way.


Harry awoke feeling a strange sensation coming from his big hairy man hands. He felt a dripping warm liquid rolling lazily down his meaty wrist and towards the crease of his elbow.

A tangy stench filled his nostrils and he scrunched his nose up in distaste. He wriggled his fingers and was very alarmed when they seemed to trapped within a tight cave. It felt like a fleshy glove and a thick liquid clung to his skin.

Peeling his crusty eyes open he was startled to see wrinkled bat hair, soggy and thick.

He frowned in confusion and absently wondered where his glasses were.

Uncurling his fist his fingers brushed what seemed to be a thin piece of metal. Could it of been the new wand he ordered? Or maybe the cock stick Snape had got from Hogsmead?

Shoving his hand up further, relishing in the feeling of the soggy thickness clinging to him, he was pleased trace the familiar shape of what appeared to be his glasses.

He clutched them gratefully and began to extract his arm from the cavern it seemed to be wedged in. His hand made a squelching noise followed by a small pop as it was finally freed.

The fresh air hitting his skin made it feel cold and goose bumps appeared on his arms.

His left hand felt heavy and it was difficult to move. Both that and his glasses seemed to be wet and slick with a strange substance. Fumbling around he slots them over his ears and finds before his eyes professor McGonagall passed out on his pink silk sheets.

Her bare skin was haggard and old, withered by the years. In her hand was a glass wand dildo - the exact one he'd ordered the other week. The leftover lube made it glisten and shine in the candlelight.

He pushed himself up and crawled over to where it laid in her grasp, leaning down to lick the head tenderly.

When he reached up to take it from her (planning to have some of his own fun) he froze in shock and suddenly realised where his hand had been all night.

The once pale and lushes skin was now crinkled and soggy, seemingly hanging off of his hand and wrinkling in on itself.

Harry always knew McGonagall was a GILF but he never thought that he'd be stuck up her for an entire night. He must've been pretty out of it to pass out and not finish the job.

* * *

With a low moan and a stretching of limbs McGonagall awakened groggily.

Feeling a gape between her legs she shifted uncomfortably and her glove seemed to collapse in on itself with a squelching sound. It ached and it burned but she loved it.

Yawning she felt her jaw click and her tongue felt heavy as if Dumbledore's heavy dick was resting on it.

She went to open her eyes but they seemed to be glued shut. What could of done such a thing?

Reaching a hand up she felt a dry crusty substance covering the and she scraped a bit off and brought it to her mouth. Mmmmmmm.

It was salty and a little sweet - whoever's it was had been eating their five a day.

The bed was shifting underneath her and the headboard was slamming into the wall. She rubbed the rest of the dried cum off of her eyes and peeled them open to see Harry bent over the side of the bed by a very enthusiastic Ginny wearing the glass dildo. What a lovely sight.

She brought her wrinkly fingers back to her lips and sucked off the dry cum, feeling her grotto starting to leak.

She watched the display, absently nibbling on her fingers, and only looked away when she heard a meow come from the door.

Crookshanks strolled in and jumped up on the bed and McGonagall reached over and grabbed him by the face. She didn't think twice before shoving it up there, both her hands and the cats head stretching her to unbearable measures.

As she pulled her hands out of herself she shoved Crookshanks up further, the furriness rubbing her in all the right ways.

Harry's sweat, dribble, and cum was staining the pink silk a dark red and she watched the display happily, grinding down onto the cat inside of her.

Crookshanks was clawing and biting her insides, the rough tongue making everything more pleasurable.

All was going well until Hermione walked in and saw what McGonagall was doing to her precious pussy.

"MCGONAGALL NO!" With a screech she walked over and yanked Crookshanks out of her.

Crookshanks was shaking and her fur stuck to her body. "WWHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY!?" Hermione wailed in despair.

The bed had stopped moving and when she looked over Ginny had pulled herself out of Harry and was now pulling herself over to where Hermione was sitting on the floor petting her traumatized pussy.

Unexpectedly Ginny starts deep throating the cats tail, the bump of her pregnant belly smashing into Hermione's side.

"GINNY WHAT ARE YO U D OING ?" She gasps.

She twists her hand in Ginnys hair and yanks her off the cat.

Ginny lets out an agonized scream and suddenly water splashes onto the cold stone floor.

"OH HOLY DUMBLES!" McGonagall exclaimed. "HER WATERS HAVE BROKEN. OH GOOD MERLIN!"

* * *

Harry was speechless. What had started off being a fun sex filled morning in the playboy mansion had soon turned into a drama. Shame really, he'd had a great idea when Hermione had walked in. It involved a flobberworm and Buckbeak.

Ginny was on the floor screaming whilst Hermione was pulling a shocked face at everyone. McGonagall was staring at Ginny's hole with interest, humming the Hogwarts theme tune under her breath.

"O HM YOMF GOS D IT HRUTS" Ginny slurs, eyes rolling into the back of her head.

McGonagall looks at Harry with alarm. "Quick Harry! Go and fetch Professor Snape!"

Harry looks at her appalled. "Snape? Ma'am she's having a baby, I don't think that Snape should fuck her whilst she's in this state."

"H ARRY !? DON'T BE A DUMBASS! SNAPE WILL DELIVER THE CHILD." McGonagall snaps.

Oh. Duuuuuhhh. Giving McGonagall the stink eye, Harry pushes himself up from the bed and goes to find an outfit to get Snape in.

He flings open the doors to his walk in closet and looks around in interest. His hands brush over last years Christmas dress but he decides no. Next he looks at a fluffy pink skirt and matching shoes before deciding no. He picks up a lace thong and seductively slides it up his legs and over his thighs, looking back at everyone to see their reaction.

Hermione and McGonagall are fingering a crying Ginny whilst singing "Hogwarts Hogwarts Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts, Teach us something please!" completely ignoring him. Ginny's wiping her face with Crookshanks tail who is liking up the milk from her leaking boobs. Fine. He doesn't need them to pay attention to him.

He picks up some stockings and pulls them up above his knees before grabbing a bow to put in his hair. Looking at himself in the mirror he grins at how lovely he looks.

"HARRY," McGonagall calls. He turns around to see her glaring at him. "This isn't a fashion show Mr Potter! Ginny is having a baby! Go and find Snape _NOW_ !"

Harry huffs and grabs his pink feather boa before he flounces out of the room.

He skips down the corridor happily, dick flinging about and escaping the thong, singing out "SnNaAaAaPpEe" to every open door.

On his way he finds Tom Riddle who decides to join him and Ron who sneaks behind them, trying to hide his ogling of Harry's perky bum.

Snape was, unsurprisingly, in his lab stroking the wooden tabletop and staring into the distance.

"Snape!" Harry cries joyfully, jumping up onto Snapes desk and giving him his best smile. "Hello Sir."

"Harry," Snape drawls, eyes dragging appreciatively up his body. Harry opens his legs and grins impishly, glad that someone likes the effort he puts into his outfits. "What did I do to receive this surprise?"

Harry shivers as Snape runs a hand over his thigh. "Ginny's in labor," he mumbles, eyes fluttering shut as the wandering hand drifts over his hard dick.

"What was that? Don't mumble you baboon." Snape rubs harder.

"Ginny's in labor. She's having her baby." He pants out.

"WHAT ? ! ?" Snape hisses.

"OH MERLIN! HARRY WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?" Tom demands.

Ron faints, body making a thud as it hits the floor.

Pouting, Harry slides off Snape's desk and starts to walk out of the room. "McGonagall wants you to deliver the baby."

Harrys stopped when a long fingered monkey hand grabs onto his shoulder harshly.

"Are you telling me," Snape says slowly. "That McGonagall is the only person upstairs with Ginny right now?"

"Hermione's up there too," Harry shrugs.

"OH MY GOD SHE'S GOING TO EAT THE BABY!" Snape screams.

Ron, who had managed to stand back up, faints again.

* * *

Where the hell is Harry with Snape? Hermione looks to the door again, feeling more and more worried when he doesn't burst through the door.

The head of the baby is now halfway out and McGonagall keeps on licking it. She's acting awfully suspicious.

Ginny is still crying with Crookshanks who is now lifeless laying next to her.

"Miss!" Hermione says in alarm when McGonagall starts pushing her hands up into Ginny's womb. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for the gender." She says.

Hermione just stares in alarm when suddenly a lot happens at once.

Snape bursts through the door followed by Tom and Harry who are dragging Ron by the ankles at the same time McGonagall calls out "ITS A BOY!"

When he see's what she's doing Snape dives over and everything seems to go in slow motion.

"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," he calls, hands shoving McGonagall out of the way.

Ginny screams as McGonagall's hands are suddenly removed, nails scraping and tearing her apart.

"I will save the baby." Snape declares as he gets to work.

McGonagall growls and dives forward. Hermione grabs her before she can reach Ginny and is shocked when she bites a chunk out of her hand.

Harry's still by the door and is covering his eyes, peeking through his fingers at everyone in interest whilst Tom sits on the floor and helps Snape.

"Bad McGonagall." Hermione snaps. She picks her up by her thin grey hair and starts swinging her around like a lasso. She lets go and McGonagall goes flying out of the window and down the side of the building, smashing unforgivingly into the ground.

"Thank you for dealing with the Child Eater." Snape says.

Hermione doesn't really understands but nods anyway, going to stand by Harry.

When the child is free Tom cuts the cord and they all look at the baby in amazement.

* * *

The temptation was too much for Harry and the second Ginny is holding the baby Harry dives in and sticks his hands either side of Ginny's gaping hole.

He pulls the gap apart, stretching the already torn skin even more, until the hole is big enough for him to stick his head into.

Before doing it, he shakes his head hard enough for his glasses to fall off - he really doesn't want them to get a repeat of last night.

He laughs in a devilish delight, the same way he laughs when Snape sneaks into his room at night.

Ginny's always willing to go along with Harry's crazy antics and she seems more than eager for Harry to continue with this unusual plan no matter how much it will hurt her.

Pain was pleasure and all that.

"Harry." Tom calls. Harry sighs, charming Ginny to stay wide open before prancing over to him.

Tom, ever thoughtful, transfigures a shower cap and goggles exclaiming "Safety first Harry!" before sliding them onto his head. "I don't want all this gunk in your hair when we're having fun later.

He winks when he see's Snape glaring at him over the top of Harry's head. "It's okay buddy, the more the merrier."

Not waiting to see how the conversation continues, Harry launches himself across the floor and headfirst in a very penguin like manner straight up into Ginny.

You could hear him splashing around up there and giggling, the remainder of his body doing the caterpillar on the stone floor.

They all watch as his body freezes and tenses up before a scream echo's from Ginny's bellybutton.

Harry starts thrashing around on the floor and Tom crouches down and puts his ear to Ginny's stomach before knocking on it. "Is everything okay in there?"

The only reply he gets is a muffled gurgle.

"Is he stuck?" Hermione asks worriedly.

"I'm not sure," murmurs Tom. "Let me find out."

He places his hands around Ginny's belly and places his lips to the underside of it before shouting "HARRY ARE YOU STUCK IN THERE? ARE YOU TRAPPED? KICK YOUR LEGS TWICE FOR YES AND THREE TIMES FOR NO."

Harry's legs obediently kick twice before he stills, waiting for further instruction from the outside world.

They all watched horrified as Ginny starts to close around Harry's neck, cutting off his air supply.

Harry starts to thrash around again and they hear a distorted choking sound coming from inside of her.

"Ginny you've got to stop!" Hermione shrieks, staring in horror.

Ginny doesn't reply and they all look up to see her passed out, Crookshanks dead body laying across her forehead, the baby still cradled in her arms.

"Oh my merlin." breathes Tom. "He's going to die. He's going to suffocate inside of her womb."

Tom grabs hold of one of Harry's ankle, looking at all of them nastily when they don't move to do anything. "Well don't just stand there, help me!"

Ron takes hold of the other ankle whilst Snape walks round to kneel besides Ginnys head, flinging the cat over to Hermione before holding on tightly to her head and shoulders.

"On three, we're gonna pull. If not..." Tom trails off, eyes looking suspiciously wet.

Ron pats his shoulder before carrying on the thought. "If not this may just be Harry Poofters final moments."

They all share a mourning glance before taking a tighter grip on their respective limbs.

Harry twitches feebly.

"One... Two... THREE !"

They all heave and pull until their muscles are straining and beads of sweat start to drip down there brows.

Snape clings onto Ginny's head to prevent her from sliding out of his arms, fingers tight on her jaw.

Tom and Ron and leaning backwards and tugging with all their might.

When Harry stops breathing they all panic.

"ME R LIN. GOOD MELIN. O H MY MERLIN!" Ron swears.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS DUMBLEDORE? DAMN YOU - DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!" Snape screams, tears gushing down his cheeks like a waterfall.

Tom shakes Harry's leg, still yanking. "DON'T GIVE UP YOU BUNCH OF CORNISH PIXIES!"

They all start pulling with renewed fever.

The baby starts to wail and cry and Snape looks at it with concern.

Hermione waltzes over and grabs hold of Harry's flaccid penis and she starts tugging on it, putting her all into getting Harry out of this sticky situation.

Desperately they keep trying to free him, hope growing when they feel him coming loose.

They heave and heave and pull until suddenly, with a squelching ripping sound followed by a deafening bang, Harry was out.

It reminded them of that time in second year where Dobby became a free Elf.

Harry lay motionless on the floor, placenta covering his pale skin. He still had the shower cap on and the goggles had steamed up.

Tom collapses onto his chest, hand reaching up to cup Harry's flushed cheek. "NO! YOU CAN'T BE DEAD. DARLING NO!"

Snape snatches the now screeching baby out of Ginny's lax hold and cradles it under his pointy chin. His greasy hair falls around the baby's head like a halo and conceals it from all of their gazes. The baby's cry's turn into sniffles and laughter, small hand reaching out to give Snape a deserved high five. Everybody is amazed to witness the bond between the two. What a magical moment.

"SOMEBODAY GET PROMFREY!" Tom demands as he cradles Harry's corpse in his arms.

* * *

As it turns out, Promfrey was on her honeymoon with a fish.

Tom - thinking fast - makes Ron go and fetch his Fluffy Stick Of Fluffiness and Life. Harry wouldn't die on him, not now, not _ever_.

Ron returns fast and hands him a thin long stick covered in baby pink and blue feathers, the handle crafted out of the softest sheep's fur. There's a small dusting of glitter over it and it sparkles magically.

In one hand Tom holds the stick and in the other he pinches Harry's nipple, the perky bud not reacting underneath his spider like fingers.

He rears the Fluffy Stick Of Fluffiness and Life back before jabbing it through Harry's nipple, sliding it all the way through and tugging it out of the other end.

Harry gasps in a breath, blue lips sucking in air greedily.

Grinning like a maniac, Tom chucks the Fluffy Stick Of Fluffiness and Life across the room before bringing his hand up to his mouth and holding the thin skin of his pointer finger between his teeth. Slowly, he begins to peel it off, eyes screwed up in pain.

When the whole front of his finger is just muscle and blood he spits out the skin, twisting it together and then looping it through the hole in Harry's nipple.

It was the perfect piercing.

"I'm alive?" Harry asks in wonder.

"Yes. Yes you are."

It turns out that on Ron's trip to get the Fluffy Stick Of Fluffiness and Life he'd attracted the attention of the school who are now crowded around the door. They all start to cheer and clap when Harry sits up, confetti being chucked everywhere.

"HARRY POOFTER LIVES ANOTHER DAY!" they all shout in unison.

Snape, still holding the baby, silences everyone with a cough.

"Before this party gets started," he drawls "Let's christian the baby."

The cheers get louder and everybody starts running down the corridors and to the Astronomy Tower. The people who don't fit in the tower crowd around the bottom and soon all the pupils and teachers are watching in anticipation, giants and wizards in local area flying in on brooms.

Everybody has stripped out of there clothes and Harry basks in all the nakedness he can see.

Snape starts a long speech and Harry subtly starts to jerk off to the massive unicorn penis he can see over by the forbidden forest. He'll have to invite the unicorn to the after party.

His hand keeps working over his cock, thumbing the slit and twisting the head. His gaze wonders back to where Snapes holding the baby and he tilts his head, wondering who the father is. They won't be able to tell until the baby starts to grow up he realizes disappointedly.

He comes into his fist at the same time Snape finishes his talk and people start talking and suddenly has an amazing idea.

Running over he snatches the baby out of Snapes hand and everybody watches in awe as he rubs his cum over the babes forehead.

He jumps up onto the railing and holds the baby out for all to see. The sun reflects on the cummy forehead and everybody cheers and bows as Harry shouts out "SIMBA!"

Harry looks around at everybody and smiles. What a truly wonderful time to be alive with friends and a definite gangbang to come.


End file.
